New Rules: Video Game Edition
Hey game developers! Here are a few rules I wish you'd use when making your next game:
1. Never, under any circumstances, use a countdown timer in your mission. What a cheap, frustrating way to add "urgency." Seriously, you can't think of a more interesting way to challenge me than to put a clock on the screen? Lame.
2. Be smart enough to know when I'm safe to quit. If I literally JUST saved my game and am now exiting to the main menu, don't tell me "Any unsaved progress will be lost." Why isn't the game smart enough to know when I've saved and when I haven't? Any simple word processing program since 1982 has that feature, can't a highly advanced video game system do the same?
3. And while I'm at it: Have a smart checkpoint system! Don't want to just let me save the game anytime I want? Ok, I can live with that. But you'd better not force me to sit through the same cutscene twice, or get back into a car just to drive to where the mission starts, or re-complete any objectives that were part of a mission. Anytime the game updates me on my situation, there should be a checkpoint.
4. Minimize the time between when my character dies and when I can get back to playing. My frustration level is in direct proportion to how long it takes between dying and trying again. Granted, I'm no expert on the intricacies of game programming, but if I've just been running around the Big Library, why does the game have to re-load the Big Library when I restart? Isn't it there all along?
5. Don't ever make me defenseless. I know you're in love with your snazzy rag-doll physics, but please, if something knocks my character back and triggers the rag-doll animation, don't also make him vulnerable to being shot at the same time. I'm so happy I survived the blast that rolled me down the hill, but I'm riddled with bullets from enemies on the way down, completely unable to defend myself. Frustrating!
Have any more rules you'd like to see added to this list? Reply below!
Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 08:00PM
Reader Comments (56)
To that list I would add "If I've already seen the cut scene once, let me skip it" and "Cut scenes should ALWAYS have a pause feature". Nothing like having someone walk into the room when you're in the middle of a cut scene and missing the story.
Jeff. You're fucking wack.
That bit in Gears Of War with the Brumac walking towards the vehicle and you have 30 seconds made me despise that whole game... I mean I was hating it before that but it quickly turned to despise after my 20th failed attempt promptly followed by the game re-loading me 10 minutes previous to the Brumac part EVERY TIME.
When a game developer has been lazy it sticks out like a sore, bloody, puss-dripping thumb
#1 is incorrect!
To me, all tension is completely lost when it comes to games when you finish a cut scene where "hurry, we need to get the bad guy before he destroys the entire universe!" then you could feasibly stand around doing the chicken dance for 30-60 minutes.
I know it is an annoying thing when they give you *just* enough time, so I wouldn't mind being given far more than enough, but give me some actual drive to believe I need to hurry.
I think you need a SLIGHT amendment to rule #1. Timers are OK in cases where a timer would actually be used in the real world. For example, the first level in Super Metroid, you have to escape before the self-destruct sequence destroys the space station. In that situation a timer makes complete sense.
@Simeon
OOH! You are so right! I'm going to go out on a limb though and say that the timer in Super Metroid is there just to give the illusion of a timeframe. The first time I ever played that game back when I was 12 or whatever (which was also the very first time I'd ever played a Metroid game) I totally breezed through that part. I did find myself glancing up at the timer frequently because I was paranoid. I had no idea when it would expire so of course I was paranoid.
In Phantom Hourglass, there's that Temple of the Ocean King (Is that what it's called? I can't be certain and I can't be arsed to Google it.) where you have to go through it repeatedly and it has a very strict timer. I don't know. Maybe I just suck at games now, but I totally gave up on that game after dying in that temple about nine times. I think I was on my last run-through as well. I don't know. I guess my point is that Super Metroid is a better game than Phantom Hourglass. Discuss.
Agreed with all your rules except maybe the last one. Why should you be invulnerable to guns if you are rolling down a hill? Anyway, how about adding mazes to that list. Nothing can drag a game to a halt like running into a bunch of dead ends.
Good ones, i haven't thought about #2; i'll add,
No more lives! it's ridiculous that games still have a life system, the arcades are dead now, there's no need for the life system anymore. (most of games have removed it but there's still a lot that uses them!)
Get rid of invisible walls, this was OK at the beginning of 3D games, but we have come a long way and there's no need now to put an invisible wall. It's stupid that my character who can kill thousands of enemies, jump over roofs, can't jump a box that's 2 feet tall.
That's all i've got now, good idea Jeff, hope some developers read this!
Canlt help but agree with non-skipable cut scenes. Some games (mostly rentals or loaners) I could entirely care less about. But especially one like the end of psp god of war. That bitch killed me so many times and EVERY time I had to watch the cut scene of her flying up the tower. I wasted an hour + of my life watching her do that shit. K painful memories I guess, but come on! AFTER THE FIRST TIME LET ME SKIP EM! K. Thanks for letting me vent to the ether. Laters. E
I agree with the rules above as well. The things I hate are the start up screens that can't be skipped. we are waiting for games devs all the time, we are told about a game and wait for it to come out. Then we buy it and wait to get it home. We install it and wait some more. I then don't want to have to wait while you tell me who you are when I start it up, we know who made the game, we bought it. I just want to play all ready. EA is notorious for this, but there are others you know who you are. I think games devs should dedicate more time to fixing the camera I hate great games that are ruined by a 3rd person view that doesn't work.
@GaZZuM I don't think Jeff's saying "all timed missions are dumb". I think he's saying that sticking a completely non-immersive clock on your HUD is a little lazy, and the developers could find another way of displaying urgency. For instance, instead of saying "you have to get this ice cream to this dude within thirty seconds! [timer displays and start ticking]" it should be something more interesting like "you have to get this ice cream to this dude before it melts! [show the ice cream melting]". That's probably not an awesome example, but designers can definitely think of better ideas than just using a timer. It's just a cop out.
I swear you got ALL of these from GTA IV, No? Rag doll physics that screw you went you get tapped by a car, can't save during missions, loads of timed missions... The only one that doesn't apply is the load time when dying, but then again, it always takes you to a hospital.
If I had to add a rule it would be a minimum speed of walking/running that's not god awfully slow.
Like the slow walk/ horse trot in assassins creed looks awesome but actually walking any distance is so annoying. Running in Mass Effect was terrible too. So was the "autosave".
Great post!
In response to (4) the example of reloading the Big Library, when implemented properly there are actually two steps to loading. To summarize, reading data from the disk (short and done once), interpreting the data read (long and done every time). Note that this is only one implementation and there are many technical reasons why a particular game may be forced to read the data from the disk multiple times (e.g. there's not enough RAM on the system so immediately after interpreting the data, the loaded map file must be thrown out)
TLDR Begin
First, upon loading a level for the first time, all data from the disk is loaded (the models for books, enemies, library paraphernalia), then the second loading step takes place, which is making all the objects from the loaded models and textures etc. and placing them around the level, and while the information about where to place the objects has been loaded already, it must be reinterpreted
Now completely static objects that cannot be interacted with in any way can be dealt with once in the first loading step, but the majority of objects fall into the latter category of interactive objects. These interactive objects must be created every time you load and reload because you could have messed with them during your first play-through (e.g. you could have broken the destructible vases).
Interactive objects are also significantly more complex than the non-interactive objects, and thus take a significantly longer amount of time to load (and reload). Not to mention the fact that upon reload, all the old interactive objects must be destroyed (otherwise, when you recreated them , you might have two of the ones that didn't get blown up in your first play-through).
TLDR End
So the fact that reloading a level takes almost as much time as loading it should come as no surprise, the complex part of loading it the first time still has to take place every time.
Wasn't this site voted the highest resolution display in all America...RUNNING GAG!!!!
Love this. I'l add this one:
If I select to play on easy mode instead of hard mode, it's because I suck at videogames, so don't make me die every 2 seconds. Easy mode should pretty much make me invincible, unless I jump off a cliff of course.
I Love the List. I hate playing a game and dying then waiting a minute to reload the level and get back to the check point. Why do I have to reload the level, I was just in it? Take a page from Tiger Woods 10 when you play gamernet challenges, when you are trying to beat a challenge and you do not, you simply push one button and within 1 second you are back playing again.. Simply amazing...
I Love the List. I hate playing a game and dying then waiting a minute to reload the level and get back to the check point. Why do I have to reload the level, I was just in it? Take a page from Tiger Woods 10 when you play gamernet challenges, when you are trying to beat a challenge and you do not, you simply push one button and within 1 second you are back playing again.. Simply amazing...
Bullet Magnet: If i'm playing a squad game then let my squad take some attention. I hate playing a game like COD:WOW or Brothers where your squad is in battle with the enemy until you enter the area. Then the AI decides you are the only worthy target. WTF?! There's 10 guys on my side in the battle and everyone is shooting at me!
Come on, stop plugging your web page if you're not updating it :)